it feels better

When asked why he was happy all the time the Dalai Lama said, "Because it feels better." My husband told me this story a few years ago and, like all other things I am told by anybody ever, I promptly forgot. I heard the story again the other day like it was for the first time. This time I had an almost visceral reaction to it. I say almost because it wasn't quite that powerful but it was more meaningful that a an anecdote about someone's Aunt Maude. No offence of course to Maude or the storyteller. So this time the story really stuck. "Because it feels better." Duh. I have spent most of my life trying/wanting to 'feel better' which has been a long road of knowing cognitively that I am already perfect the way I am (apparently that's what the mystics and most people who are in The Know say) and knowing that it is not about improving myself but accepting myself without actually being able to do it. Always trying so damned hard to not hate myself and be better. At least I'm not trying to Be Best.

I'm re-reading a book about cultivating the spiritual life, kinda like the aim of this blog - or, at least normalizing the spiritual aspect of life in case you didn't know - and the author tells of a time when he was in Bodh Gaya listening to the Dalai Lama speak. Some young hippie asked him, "What is the meaning of life?" and he answered, "to be happy and to make others happy." The author, into much philosophizing and intellectualizing about the existential nature of being human thought this was a terribly unsophisticated and simplistic answer but has come to see that of course, the Dalai Lama's answer is profound in its simplicity.

At least I'm not trying to Be Best.

It just feels better to feel nice and to be nice to other people. "My religion is kindness" is another gem from His Holiness. Obvs. And let me just speak for him myself and clarify that by happiness he doesn't mean by material wealth or by status. In order to be happy on a fundamentally spiritual level - which is also the human level don't ya know because we are also spiritual beings so it's THE SAME THING - we need to comprehend some basic truths which I have interpreted here:

1. There is suffering.That's the way it just IS.

2. We cause our own suffering. Because we can be a little thick.

3. There are ways to stop suffering. But it's hard for us to do them because we can be a little thick.

4. There are more ways to stop suffering. See above.